I arrive to a studio that is industrial, yet so refined and lived in that it’s more cozy than cold. Donovon is sitting in the makeup chair with a distant, yet determined stare. The crew is all doing their due diligence, getting to what needs to be done. I sit and observe a bit more as the shoot begins to unfold. CJ Robinson is alchemizing the backdrop and it’s starting to come together, and the conceptual mood board is becoming realized. I’m in awe–this man knows what he’s doing. Before my excitement spills out on the studio floor–I throw myself into the hustle and bustle too. There’s an array of tights and pointe shoes on the table before me. As he’s getting dressed, Donovon shares his inspiration behind today’s photoshoot. It is the wee hours of the night, Donovon is as young as 11 practicing and honing the grace and athleticism of ballet poses in the mirror. Practicing the placement of his hands, the pointe of his feet, and the intensity of his face so long he’d miss sleep, constantly being greeted by his alarm for school. Back to present day on set, the red painted across his face, the leotard, tights and shoes—this is a ballerina that has scars, but the beauty and grace to float through it all. The outfit is donned, the lights come on, and the camera is up–Donovon is on. After the freshly wrapped shoot, we sit down and talk a bit.

Mo: You’re looking good–you looked amazing! How are you feeling?

Donovon: I feel good, I was nervous at first. I felt like this was me getting my feet wet–it’s been a while, but I feel good. I feel accomplished…I feel fulfilled. I think this is definitely something that I needed because this is also a part of my healing. I feel really good.

Mo: Speaking of healing, what pushed you to create this shoot? I mean you came up with this concept, then watching the execution…where was your head at?

Donovon: So I believe this shoot was like three years in the making. I unfortunately had to step away for a little while–even though it was unintentionally and unwillingly. I was really just going through life, and I was in a situation that was not pouring into me–and it wasn’t prosperous. But, being in the thick of that relationship caused me to focus on other things, ultimately separating me from my art. Stepping away from my art is something that was challenging because it’s the way that I express myself–it fuels my soul. It fuels who I am as a person. Like I am truly an artist to my core. Over the past few months of me being isolated and being alone, I’ve really been able to process all that I’ve been through over these past three years.

This shoot was three years in the making.”- Donovon Alexander

Donovon: And it’s like damn boy, you’ve been through a lot! You need to heal, but you also need to really address certain things. So speaking on the headspace that I’m in and the headspace leading up to this–it was more so praying that this would be a release more than anything. Me just putting it all on the table, putting it on the floor–that’s what it was about.

Mo: That’s beautiful, and it felt beautiful to be apart of that release too. I seen in the beginning when you started the poses were a little bit more restricted, or structured. But as the shoot progressed you begin to flow and move more. I can totally see why this is the avenue for you, one–but two, how it can be so free and healing.

Donovon: It’s interesting that you say that because that naturally happened, but it was a originally a thought of mine when conceptualizing my mood board for people to actually see it. When I connected with Aana, the photographer, and was explaining to her the concept–I remember telling her think of a fetus growing. That’s why I wanted to do some of those poses in that fetal position. Kind of hiding, or like a newborn–or like that energy of not necessarily blossoming just yet. I wanted to continuously grow throughout the shoot to truly capture my rebirth.

Mo: I love that, and I do believe this is a rebirth. With this shoot being the start and catalyst, where do you feel like you wanna go next–creatively, or simply with how you go about expressing yourself? How do you wanna express yourself in this new era, this release, this blossoming–what’s next?

Donovon: What do I wanna do next? I was just telling Sam, the makeup artist, that during the pandemic and a little after I was heavily creating. I was shooting out concepts left and right–it was my happy place. It was where I felt most comfortable, that’s my element. So I want to tap back into that.

Donovon: I want to tap back into that, continue to create. Continue to pour into myself, and give myself all that love and energy that I have given to others–and other situations. I really wanna grow in my creativity and as a business man.

Mo: Yes! I love that, so you’re saying that creating is a form of self-love and self healing?

Donovon: For me it is.

Mo: What are some other ways that you like to express or go about showing self-love? What are some things you like to do for yourself?

Donovon: Honestly, lately over like the last year–I’ve been practicing being gentle with myself. I feel like that is a really important key element to self-love–giving yourself grace. Being gentle, and really showing up for yourself in the ways that you show up for other people. Especially if you’re an empathetic person. I think being someone who is extremely empathetic–I’m always on call for my people, my friends, my family–and not taking anything away from them. Creating some type of balance and structure to where I am able to pour into myself.

Mo: And I feel that, because a lot of times when you are a giver, you find that it’s constant extracting, extracting, extracting. Then it’s like when you go home what do you have left? How are you pouring into yourself?

Donovon: Exactly.

Mo: I love that–that’s something I need to keep in mind for myself. I think being gentle to yourself is important. Is it just gentle self-talk, or is it being like everything–

Donovon: Everything doesn’t have to be done so anxiously. But it’s also that gentle self-talk. You know, I am someone who is extremely hard on myself–I’m very “Type A” in many different ways. I’m learning to be like you know what baby boy, it’s okay.

Mo: Yeah.

Everything doesn’t have to be done so anxiously. It’s okay baby boy.” – Donovon Alexander

Mo: Within that gentleness, finding self-love–this rebirthing process, what are you aiming for in the end? What does happiness and freedom look like after this process?

Donovon: I don’t believe there’s an “after this process,” honestly–I feel like it’s an ever evolving journey. I’m in my journey of giving the world my work. I have really big dreams and really big goals, and I look at this like it’s the groundwork to achieve certain things that I do see for myself. So yeah, it’s not like an after–it’s moreso ever evolving. The continuation of the legacy of Donovon Alexander.

Mo: And with that continuation of legacy and evolution, who do you want the world to know about Donovon Alexander. Who is Donovon Alexander?

Donovon: Donovon Alexander is really like this quirky, sometimes a little nerdy, silly, and goofy as hell person. The closest people to me know I’m like a mini Jim Carrey.

Mo: The faces and all?!

[Laughter]

Donovon: Yeah, I want the world to know me as someone who has had so much adversity and so many things put on me and against me–and I just continue to fight through it all. Being Black and queer and from Chicago–I grew up on the Southside of Chicago. It wasn’t an easy thing.

Mo: Yeah.

Donovon: I had to suppress a lot, I had to learn how to survive at a very early and tender age. Which is crazy because now growing, being older, and being an adult now–I find myself in a lot of situations realizing that certain lessons that people are learning in their 20s, I learned that shit at like 11/12.

Donovon: So it’s like being an adult now, being able to recognize just how harsh that is–I want to heal that. And, that goes back again to that healing journey. But as far as who I want the world to know me as, I’d like people to know me as someone who really just didn’t fold. Like I didn’t tap out. I continued to push, I continued to fight. I’m a lover, but I’m also a fighter as well. That I fight for the shit that I love and the shit that I believe in. I fight for me, I’ve always had to fight for myself–even when I didn’t want to.

Mo: I kinda wanna tap into that a bit, and you can tell me if I’m projecting or not. But, it seems like we’re talking about survival, and going from survival mode and into more peaceful times?

Donovon: Yes, for sure.

Mo: With that, how do you feel Chicago has shaped your perspective in the way that you go about creating art, or even the way you go about chasing your dreams in New York?

Donovon: I feel Chicago has shaped my perspective in many different ways. Anyone who’s met me knows that I am extremely business oriented. I believe in over-communicating, I’d rather be safe than sorry. I am someone that doesn’t take lightly to bullshit, which I feel is definitely like core Chicago.

Mo: No, really.

Donovon: It’s a no bullshit type of energy and presence that I know that I hold and I have. I’m understanding that this can be intimidating in certain rooms, and to certain people, but it’s me—it’s who I am. It comes from a place of wanting to protect myself, but also it’s like take me serious—or Imma have to show you I’m serious. As an artist I am extremely intentional, thorough, and I’m accurate.

Mo: Yeah.

Donovan: You know? I believe in quality. I don’t just wanna just have an idea and throw some bullshit out there. I believe in actually pouring into my ideas and visions.

As an artist I am extremely intentional, thorough, and I’m accurate.” – Donovon Alexander

Mo: And that intentionality is so obviously reflected in your art. Having the ability and privilege to watch you on set was amazing. Now there’s a lot of people out here calling themselves models, but to see you work it was like “on” as soon as the lights and camera came on! I think that it was beautiful, so I can definitely tell you are intentional about what you do. With rebuilding and rebirth, we begin to rebuild around us—what does your ideal found family within this process look like?

Donovon: People who show up for themselves and are able to show up for others. I tell my friends this all the time, I am truly blessed because I’m not someone who has to look far for inspiration. Like, my friends are so inspiring—even though we are in different fields. The way my friends show up and do their shit…

Mo: Yeah.

Donovon: …It’s like when it comes down to my family, my chosen family, that’s what I like to have around me. You know I run a tight ship!

Mo: What?! [laughs]

Donovon: [Laughing] I am not someone who is just like extremely open to just having any and everyone be behind and all around me.

Mo: Yeah, I can see that.

Donovon: And some people may feel a type of way about that—but again at the end of the day that’s how I protect myself and my energy. But, it’s also because there’s a lot of weird shit out here.

Mo: Oh yeah.

Donovon: And a lot of weird people! I’m a good person, my friends are good people. We pour into each other, we believe in God. And, I’m not saying if you don’t believe in God you’re a bad person, everyone has their own prerogative and perspective. But, you know, I love Jesus and I love the fact that I’m surround by like-minded people. Not like-minded people in the way of “yes men,” like-minded people in the way that we all have really big goals and really big dreams—and we do what it takes to achieve them. So my chosen family looks like that. And if you’re someone, like a newer person I end up connecting with, I’m open to it! But just understand that this isn’t a bullshit type of friendship. It’s like, I don’t have negative people around me. I don’t have people who are lazy around me. If you gone be my friend and be in my circle, I need to know what the fuck you want out of life! I need to see you pushing forward.

Mo: For sure.

Donovon: Because birds of a feather flock together, and I can’t have no weak links around me.

Mo: I feel that! Iron definitely sharpens iron. If you have people around you not pushing you to do something…

Donovon: Exactly!

Mo: …It’s easy to fall off.

Donovon: So easy.

Mo: So easy to fall off. I loved this. I just wanna wish you the best of luck in all of your endeavors, and what you continue to do. What you’re working on is beautiful. Being able to witness it was beautiful. You are beautiful! This whole thing is beautiful. Thank you so much for allowing me to do this with you, and be apart of it.

Donovon: Thank you!

Mo: Of course! I appreciate you!

Donovon: Give me a hug! I appreciate that. Thank you so much.

The post A Rebirth – In Conversation with Donovon Alexander appeared first on Licence Magazine.